Whew, we made it!

I'm pulling a "what every other blogger is doing this week" and posting a little 2012 recappy.
It was a long year, so get your blog-readin' goggles on!

This year, there was good; there was bad.
There was drunkenness; there was {some} sobriety.
There was poop; there was sanitation.
There was Buggins; there was Nubbins. {If you've been reading this blog for more than a day, you know those are one in the same, of course!}

January

We left on Christmas Day last year and spent over a week in Scottsdale, Arizona! While there, we spent a lonnnnng day exploring the Grand Canyon. It was as beautiful, cold, windy, and exhausting as we imagined it would be :) 

We even took our first {and maybe only} helicopter ride. I think I'm a teeeense too claustrophobic to venture into one again.

February

February was a whole lot of wedding planning! Of which I took no pictures, because I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein before I became the Bride of Glenn.

This little lady turned 4! But she also got really sick and scared the bejesus out of us, as well as cleaned out our wallets, savings, and any money we ever hoped to spend on ourselves.

Note to fellow pet parents: make friends with your animal's vet. Maybe they'll comp you an x-ray. You never think that'll sound appealing, until you're asked to pony up $500 for said radiological shit. Grrrrrrr, said mommy and daddy. And no more tear-apart-able squeaky toys for Buggins!

Oh, you humans wanted to have kids and buy a house someday?
Nah, spend your savings on me, me, me!!!

March

These crazies went to VEGAS!!! Thanks to my amazing parents, the four of us, plus Glenn, plus my best friend Erin, headed out West again. This time to drink our faces off and grope some sexy Chippendales' abs. {Mom, Erin, and I did that part. The guys weren't too keen on joining us, obviously.}

Blurry, drunken picture quality and Bachelorette party penis straws, of course.

April

Oh, ya know, still wedding planning like our life depends on it. And also heading down to Hilton Head for the annual Heritage Drunkfest Golf Tournament. Mimosas galore and sexy golfer tushies in brightly-colored pants? Suuuuure, I guess I'll attend, if you really twist my arm about it.

May

We kinda did this cool thing called "marriage."

Friends and family came from all around the country, took shots with us two nights in a row, and are still talking about the party now, eight months later. Roaring success, I'd say!

June

Does "newlywedding" count as an activity? Since we'd smartly decided not to honeymoon immediately after our wedding, we spent this month enjoying calling each other husband and wife {no seriously, I even told Target cashiers about my husband.} and talking about combining bank accounts. Woohoooo living big, y'all.
My new husband also surprised me with tickets to the Brothers of the Sun tour to see Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw!! Mmmmm what a night!

July

Back to Hilton Head we go! I turned the big 2-3 {which felt the same as the small 2-2} and celebrated like I was in Vegas again, strippers and all. It's probably better if you just don't ask questions and check your opinions at the door. My drunken ego appreciates it, thank ya!

Not a shabby place to age!

August

August was the only month this year that we were in Charlotte for the entire month.
K, I did go to a work conference for a few days, but wining and dining clients doesn't count. I was really looking forward to our upcoming... {that means "see next month."}

September

HONEYMOON!!! We played the honeymoon card like craaaay and headed to San Fran and Napa to eat great food and drink even greater wine. Are you sensing a pattern of we like adult beverages? We also took a beautifully terrifying hot air balloon ride. Whew, still pee my pants a little when I think about that one.

Southern Living, Our Way was also born! This blog has brought me lots and lots and lots of joy, both as an outlet for my crazy ramblings and as a way to meet wonderful new friends {I love all of you so dearly!}, and I'm so glad I took the plunge and just navigated to blogger.com that boring Sunday night :)

October

Plaid, plaid, and more plaid, please! I'll never turn down lung-fulls of mountain air and an entire town of toothlessness. We spent a week in Gatlinburg, TN with my family and grandparents, relaxing in a cabin, watching football, and experiencing the first teasings of Fall. Nothing like scarves+boots+coffee on the porch+crisp mountain air.
Can you tell I'm itching to go back?

November

Someone's lived a whole quarter of a century! Thanks to Glenn's birthday, we headed back to Tennessee to cheer on our Vols. While there, I had my first BLATE. Blog+date=blate. Sexaaaay Oolalalauren and I, along with some friends and our handsome boytoys, met up for moonshine and moonwalking. The Cupid Shuffle may have also taken place, on the stage of a crowded bar.
Lauren, when am I coming to visit again? :)

We also spent Thanksgiving in Disney World with my family! I blogged about it A LOT. Like, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

December
The month started out on a SHITTY note. No seriously, you never appreciate clean carpet until it's not so clean anymore. But then we got new floors. You also never think you'll shriek with joy about new floors {my teenage self is so ashamed of my now-old self}.

We saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra to kick off the holidays!
I also spent my first Christmas away from my family and with my in-laws. We ventured up to a collllllld New Jersey to get our holiday on ~ some football, some eggnog, and some adorable babies!

If you made it through my whole 2012 recap, bless your little heart!
It was quite a year, both in great ways and in not-so-great ways. I am grateful for every day I'm alive and happy to have experienced all I did in 2012, but let's just say I'm welcoming 2013 with open arms {being careful not to spill my champagne, of course.}

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS!!!

Y'all, ya can't make this stuff up.

Warning: this is a post about fart jokes. If you possess a higher maturity level than me, which is likely considering I still laugh at such jokes and anything regarding poop, feel free to stop reading. The bloggy blog is admittedly hitting a new low today.

Additionally, this is a Public Service Announcement ~ AUDIBLY FARTING IN PUBLIC IS NOT OK. Don't you know I have a problem controlling my laughter?!

K, so sometimes shit happens. I mean literally, it does. Hopefully you're prepared and have your life under control enough to find the facilities, but apparently some people just don't. 

Scene:

Glenn and I went to see a movie with my family yesterday {This Is 40 ~ hilarious and inappropriate and also awkwardly long. I recommend Red Box/Netflix.} and had the pleasure of sitting behind a group of those people who have zero courtesy for others in the theater. Ya know, cell phones lit up in our face; cackle-laughing at each preview like everyone's the next big comedian; and walking in and out of the theater constantly.

Well at one point, I had to be that person who goes to the bathroom. But I didn't feel too bad because we were sitting in the back row and I also have a little bit of tact.

But the guy in front of me certainly didn't. He gets up just moments before me and walks out of the theater about 10 steps ahead. As we turn the corner into the lobby, I'm scared out of my mind by that sound. Yes, the sound of a fart. From an adult man. IN PUBLIC. 

Not only do I possess zero maturity and can't hold in my laughter at fart noises, but this guy had some serious talent. No one else around us heard it, I presume, because I was the only one who had to stop smack dab in the middle of the lobby to cross my legs and stifle laughter. I legit almost peed my pants because I was cracking up {I was on my way to the bathroom to begin with, after all!} and by the time I burst into the bathroom, there were laughter-induced tears streaming down my cheeks.

I also presume this guy either wasn't aware anyone heard his one-man symphony or he was truly embarrassed, and reasonably so, because he didn't even turn around when this whole event happened. He just kept on walking. WHAT?!

So, y'all, such things happen in my life. And because this blog was started as a place to channel my crazy ramblings, I'm now writing about such happenings here.

I might lose a mature follower today thanks to this.

I might also gain a few who enjoy fart jokes and dirty humor. If that's you, email me and let's be friends. Lord knows I need to meet more people who also laugh at The Farting Preacher as much as I do.

Best part ~ 0:58 or so. Enjoy.

Alright, it's obviously time for me to go finish my middle school homework and do my chores.

The Good Life, It's the Life I'm Livin'

What's your favorite part about the holidays?

Is it eggnog spiked with as much Captain Morgan as 'nog?

Is it the full floor beneath the tree on Christmas morning?

Bulging stockings hanging over the fireplace, or on the TV stand, or the refrigerator, or in other weird places we must find if we're sans fireplace?

Y'all, I'm gonna sound like a goody two-shoes saying this, but my favorite part is the whole fam damily thing. {The food is awesome, though. I can't say I haven't eaten my weight in cookies over a 72-hour span... Note to self: the treadmill is your new best friend. Get to know her, and ASAP.}

The last week, I've been blessed to spend minutes upon hours upon days with my family. This means both the peeps who raised me and have put up with my shit and shenanigans for twenty-three years now, and the in-laws who have accepted me into their family despite my endless Southernisms and how I converted their son into a rootin'-tootin' Southern boy. <-- I make no apologies. It's not just a region; it's a way of life, people!

Last night we arrived at my parents' house for our Christmas with them.

The food and grown-uppy beverages have been endless.

For a few hours, the floor beneath the tree was full of packages. {We're pros at paper ripping and "yayyy thank you!"ing.}

Because my mom is awesome and is purposely unaware that the goodies are actually supposed to just fill up the stocking, we had a couch full of "stocking stuffers" equivalent to what most people receive for the entire holiday. {She LOVES filling stockings and I LOVE her for it!}

Oooooh, aaaaaah.

My my, lucky dude!

There's been some new boot-scootin'-boogyin', too.
How awesome are these babies?!

I feel like Buddy the Elf, wishing I could go around screaming, "I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE, AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!"

In love with family, of course. These are my people, and I'm still soaking it up. I love 'em, love 'em, love 'em.

So friends, I apologize for the unintentional bloggy break. I love Apple products as much as the next wacky Silicone Valley-an, but my laptopapotamus has taken a backseat to family, friends, food, and wine. Only the most important things in life, obviously.

There have been lots of puppy cuddles, too. I'll never complain about puppy cuddles. And if you ever have complained about puppy cuddles, your new nickname is Grinch Heart, three sizes too small.

The baby.

The old ladies, Jingle and Belle. Yes, we love Christmas. And yes, they're just so old ~ that's Bella's tongue hanging out of her mouth.
Poor little babies.

So, only 362 days until next Christmas!!!!

What, I'm an American. We're always looking for the next big thing, no?  ;)

Hey Santa, Heyyy

You know what's more cliché than me posting a Christmas recap on the bloggy blog today?

Nothing.

Except for maybe Lindsay Lohan being back in court again, but that's about it.

But really, I just had a great Christmas and I'm excited to share!

Christmas Eve was spent the way it should be ~ relaxing, cooking, drinking, and eating. No complaints from me!

Making my MIL's chocolate mousse!
Heavy on the Grand Marnier, please ;)

Tradition ~ an intense game of guys vs. girls Scattergories & Home Alone 2. Hey there, creepy Mr. Pesci.

And it snowed! I got a white Christmas {Eve}! The Jerseyans were so casual about it, like "oh look, snow."  I FLIPPED MY SHIT and took pictures and froze.

Then Christmas morning the four of us spent time together, sipping coffee, opening presents, and being greedy with our stocking stuffer scratch-offs.

I won the most this year, $30. Wooohoooo BIG MONAAAAY.

Merry married Christmas, from the newlyweds!

And I must've been reeeeeeally good this year, because Santa Diamond paid me a visit!

I texted my mom this, saying, "HE WENT TO JARED!" Told you today was cliché.

When we got our wedding bands back in March, I'd mentioned to Glenn that I love simple diamond studs and I've always wanted a pair. Not only did he remember, but he was super cute giving them to me. We had all finished opening presents and he says,

"Alexa, there's another tree in the room with something for you under it. Happy finding!"

You better believe my eyes locked on that mini tabletop tree faster than Kim Kardashian jumps on a marriage proposal {errr divorce papers?}.

You also better believe that since opening them, they've left my ears for all of seven hours just so I could sleep.

Beautimous!

Later, my father-in-law's family came over for Christmas lunch/dinner. And I got to spend oodles of time with this cutie pie.

Alexis, but she goes by Lexi.
I tell myself they named her after my awesomeness.

To say I've got a little fever in my uterus is an understatement. {Creepy? Sorry, I'm just not sorry.} Lexi has a twin brother, too, so twins run in both mine and Glenn's family.

We're weirdos for sure, but we really have our fingers crossed we're one day blessed with twin bambinos! Bonus points for boy/girl twins. They're just cooler.

But in the meantime, I'm content to hang with the babies in my life and give them back to mommy after a little while.

Lexi's parents were even shocked that she stayed in my arms for so long. She's super shy and doesn't go to anyone, they said. But we had a nice long hang out sesh :) You can just call me the Baby Whisperer; I won't complain.

The rest of the day consisted of mimosas, yummy-rummy eggnog, beer, and wine. I'm an equal-opportunity holiday lush, y'all.

As is my crazy husband. We're certainly a well-matched pair!

The night ended with drunken carols at a family friend's house.

2012 blessed me bunches, as I married into a second family who loves me dearly.  Make no mistake, I missed my parents, brother, grandparents, aunts/uncles/cousins SO MUCH this year for Christmas, and felt a piece of my heart was indeed in Tennessee with them. But I am so lucky I can spend the holidays with my in-laws and feel welcomed as a member of the family.

And lucky Glenn and me, our holidays aren't over!

Hilton Head and fam, we're coming for you tomorrow!!!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday with family and friends!

Or maybe just a trusty bottle o' wine; I ain't judgin'.

Glenn is here!

Y'all know how bloggers always write about how "my husband is just the sweetest, bestest, coolest, awesomest hubby ever!" Do you believe 'em?

I don't, only because I know that my husband is actually the sweetest, bestest, coolest, awesomest. Believe me, because I'm speakin' the truuuf. 

Proof: this picture of Glenn with my sweet grandma. Does it get better? I THINK NOT!

Because Glenn is the best husband evvvsss, I shouldn't have been shocked when he so sweetly asked if he could guest post on the ol' bloggy blog. Not only does he put up with me constantly typing my little fingers to the bone on Blogger and taking pictures of him {ok but honestly, it's him taking awkward pictures of me in an outfit or eating delicious food}, but now he wants to guest post?!

Baby, did I mention I fall more head over heels in love with you every day?

You sweet thing.

So without further adieu, y'all welcome Glenn to Southern Living, Our Way! 

~     ~     ~

As I am sure most of you can agree, it’s really been fun to read my wife’s rambling posts every week. For me, it’s a nice break in my day where I get to laugh, smile, and shake my head at her “Alexa-isms” and at the same time, it is a constant reminder why I married her and love her more and more every day.

So I spent a lot of time thinking about what I was gonna write and contribute to her blog because she’s set the bar fairly high. Let’s see, she’s talked about everything from our dog, to our trips, to our wedding, and for a guy who’s not all that creative… girl, give me a chance. I guess I could write about the time we had an entire text conversation in Taylor Swift lyrics… but that will never happen… like, ever!

With it being Christmastime and all, I’m taken back to one of my favorite Christmas memories. When I was a little troublemaker kid, my parents and I would drive up into the mountains of west New Jersey and chop down our own Christmas tree. I was young and never really thought about what could be living in said tree or how much maintenance a “real” tree required, so it became a tradition that I loved. We would search for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour for the perfect tree on this Christmas tree farm in the middle of nowhere… well, Dad knew about it forever because there was an incredible hot dog stop on the next exit. But after we found the tree we wanted, we would take the saw, chop it down, drag it down the mountain, and tie it to the roof of the car for the hour+ drive home {plus a hot dog stop, of course}. As I got older, I helped put it in the stand and tie it into place, and it gave our home that pine tree smell that we always associate with Christmas. {Coincidentally, Alexa hates that smell. Did I mention marriage = hard work and compromise and sometimes wondering if your spouse is insane? Because it does.}

But as we get older, all traditions are bound to change. Especially with Alexa and I doing that whole “marriage” thing this year! Now we, along with both of our parents, have an artificial tree. I will say that it’s a hell of a lot easier to grab the tree out of the attic and plop it in the living room than it is to drive to BFE dressed in arctic gear and chop that mother down. But I’ll always miss the excitement of that day, and the hot dog stop on the way home, and the pine tree smell that takes over the house for the month of December. Which reminds me, I need to take my chances on asking Alexa to buy a “Christmas Pine” candle… What do ya think my chances are of getting a yes? Perhaps I should’ve put diamonds in her stocking; that always seems to buy me a few favors!

I want to thank you each and every one of Alexa’s readers. She gets such great joy out of writing for y’all every day and reading your comments. I can honestly say that what you read here is true Alexa. She is the craziest and most fun person I’ve ever known. Her rambling, unique word choice, her odd but ironically true metaphors, and writing style are actually how she behaves on a daily basis… it’s why I married her, and I’m so happy I get to share her infectious personality with all of you.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, y'all!!

Christmas 2010

Happy happy, merry merry, sweet readers! 

Once I fell asleep. IN PUBLIC.

K but first let's recap how I SURVIVED THE NORTH SO FAR!

This isn't the first time I've been to the Northeast in December, so I'm used to layering shirts to ensure my nips don't freeze and wiggling my toes to make sure they're still there. 

But with a threat of snow and knowing how wife-of-the-year I was gifting Glenn tickets to see his NY Jets play, this time I was a leeeeetle bit scared. 

ALAS, I have thus far survived to Christmas Eve, so from this point forward my mind is on 60+ degree weather in Hilton Head that will be welcoming me with a hug and a margarita come Thursday ;)

So far our trip has consisted of real pizza, from a place called Cousins, which to me may or may not be Mafioso speak. But they make good crust and give me lots of cheese, so I willingly removed my judgment goggles and put on my "omnomnom pizza" specs.

Then Saturday night we were welcomed like the Southern celebs we obviously are as we met some of Glenn's old friends out at a local bar.

Namely, maaah girls, Ashley and Sam. These ladies seriously brought the party to our wedding...

Reception photobooth. Sam in blue, crazy Ashley far right. Oh, my Jersey peeps. That's my bridesmaid/Glenn's pseudo-sister, Tammy, in black.

And were just a little excited to see us. My response to Ash saying she was gonna tackle me:

We're kind of a handful together :)

And I just always love hanging out with my handsome man.

Despite a sizable hangover Sunday morning {and by sizable I mean head-bashing into a concrete wall sounded about as fun} Glenn and I were up bright and early to go see his Jets play! His, not mine, but I try to be supportive :) Boy oh boy, marriage is fun.

And ya know where those Jets play? In an outdoor stadium, in northern New Jersey, on December 23rd. 

Honey, for my Wife of the Year award, I'll accept either diamonds or a trophy. I'm not picky.

This meant bundling up my little Southern, temperatures-below-60-degrees-are-freezing body in every layer I could pack.

I wore five tops including my two coats, jeans, two pairs of socks, boots, a beanie {I don't do hats}, and mittens. MITTENS. I also don't do mittens, but my MIL let me borrow these down-feather ones and I could hug her for days. Those things were awesomesauce.

Oodles of these came in pretty handy, too.

Glenn was just cute as can be as we approached the stadium and found our seats. Don't even get me started on his excitement when he realized how good our 25th row seats were {25th row because the tix were his 25th birthday+Christmas present. I'm thoughtful like that.}.

Unfortunately, despite this being my first NFL game and how excited I was, the last few days of craziness caught up to me and I was purely exhausted. We'd managed maybe 9 hours of sleep total the previous two nights combined, so being the cool person I am...

I FELL ASLEEP AT THE GAME.

Granted, it was for about five minutes and nobody could tell. I was so bundled around the neck that I simply closed my eyes and my head didn't move as a I had a quick dream about being in the South and being warm, or something like that ;)

A Dunkin' Donuts hot chocolate brought me back to reality and I toughed it out for the rest of the game. My poor piggy toes didn't, they stayed asleep for a few hours, void of color in all their glory, but I had an absolute blast regardless.

I love new experiences like this with Glenn and it was just a great day!

Although Jets, you could've at least won. But whatevs, it's not like we were surprised. I mean, you are the ones who have Tebow on your team by choice...

#15

As a Tennessee Vols fan, it's a sin for me to even utter his name.

After a power nap of epic proportions, we got our shit together and headed to my in-laws' golf club for an ahhhmazing dinner. I even rocked a red lip like nobody's biznaaass. 

I had Glenn take a picture just to prove to y'all that sometimes I wear more than leggings and lip balm.

Last night, it was lipstick and tights. Whoaaa watch out, I'm on the fast track to supermodeldom, y'all.

Merry, merry, merry Christmas, friends!!!

Bee Eff Eff

Ohmigosh, I haven't been this excited for a Friday since, well, last Friday!!! 

No but seriously, this Friday is pretty special. I mean, it's the last day of work before Christmas WE SURVIVED THE END OF THE WORLD! And more good news ~ they were right about Twinkies, those things are made of steel and cockroaches and truly never die.

My favorite quote about The Event:

"Calm down everybody. If the Mayans were so good at predicting things, there would still be Mayans."

Touché, WhoeverSaidThat, touché.

But I'll tell ya, if the world had ended at 5:12 a.m. or whenever it was supposed to {5/12 is our wedding date, is that a coincidence?}, we had a pretty good last night of existence, if I do say so myself.

My best friend, Erin, and her boyfriend were in town for Christmas so we met them out for sushi and what turned into drinks for a while after dinner. Ever have that happen? Seems every time Erin and I get together, it does.
I blame her, she's Irish.

Nice pic quality ya got there, iPhone.

But really, this combo made for a wonderful night...

Sapporo & Sake. And yes, I destroy all of my beer labels

And our upstanding gentleman talked us into doing Sake bombs, which was a wise decision last night and a stupid one today. {Whitney, your Hangover Girl is visiting me. Tell a biish to back the eff up, kaaay?!}

Which led to Erin and I agreeing we needed to recreate some pictures from college, because we're classy, ya know.

 

Outside of a strip mall; pure sophistication.

Which then led to us texting on the way home about future plans for Vegas {VEGAS!!!! EXCITED!!!!!} and how much we miss each other and love each other and wish we saw each other more. We're a perfect pair in that alcohol makes us both sentimental. Super cute.

Which led to me falling asleep all sad because I don't know when I'll see Erin again. We live three hours apart while she finishes LAW SCHOOL, because she's the smartest person on the planet, so these nights are few and far between.
And yes, I do realize how awesome it is that I'm gonna have a best friend who's a lawyer ;) Chyeaaaa.

Which led to me dating back through old iPhotos to find a few pictures to perfectly sum up our relationship. Y'all I think I nailed it.
{And by relationship I mean we spent three years together drunk in college and revert back to those old, cooler selves now whenever we get together. Grow up? NEVAAAAAA.}

That damn Mike's again. If you chase it with keg beer, it's acceptable, right?

Oh haaayyy gurl, haaaayyyy.

* Alcohol was harmed in the making of these photos. And by harmed I mean consumed in copious, almost-fatal amounts.

There are worse pictures, but I don't wanna ruin Erin's law career before it starts. Because one day I plan to see her sitting in the Supreme Court, gavelin' the shit outta some hoodrat mofos and being all, "OVERRULED!" and "I'LL ALLOW IT!"
Although I'm pretty sure the USSC deals with more boring cases, but in my mind it's cray cray up in there. I mean, Ruth probably likes to party.

Today I'm sad because I already miss Erin, but I'm happy because I can honestly say I have the best friend in the entire world. She's just my person.

I'm luckier than lucky to have a best friend who will let me vent whenever my job is too stressful. Who will take shots with me even if it's a Monday, just because sometimes tequila is the perfect band-aid. Who will give a Maid of Honor speech at my wedding that rivals the best State of the Union ever presented.

And look so damn beautiful doin' it!

Erin, I love you. Thank you for being my person  :)

And in other news, Christmas is almost heeeeeeere!!! Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Dirty Jerz, I hope you're ready for my Southern tushy to come up there and y'all all over the place! Seriously, I'm about to drop some y'all and Southern drawl like we're back at Scarlett O'Hara's house.
That is, if I survive your sub-arctic temperatures and threat of snowfall. Lordy lordy, help a Southern sista out.

Happy Friday, friends!

Do you wanna be an oldie but goodie?

First, let's point and laugh at someone who's having a rough morning after WINEsday last night...

"Ma, close the blinds and bring me some orange juice. Ugh, I'm never drinking again!"
Oh my sweet daughter, one day you will learn.

K, so don't get all defensive. Holly's only tried alcohol once and it was spilled beer. And she loved it, the little lush.
And this whole story about parenting an alcoholic dog is just here because I love the picture. Let's move awkwardly along, shall we?
~   ~   ~
I don't know about you, but I wanna be one of those people who lives to Guinness World Record-style old age. I'm thinking 123 is a nice, psychologically-satisfying number, but I'll take 107, if I must.

And considering I'm currently sitting on my couch in a matching flannel pajama set {that I wear often and absolutely love. mmmcozy.} and drinking hot chamomile tea, I'd say I'm about one pair of non-skid slippers away from being a crazy old cat lady.
Accomplishing goals on the fast track, y'all!

But on a more serious note {it's rare around here, I know}, a few weeks ago I read an article on CNN.com about Besse Cooper.

Oh, you don't know Besse? pssh.
Well, neither did I, if we're getting technical. But this article just really hit home with me and I felt compelled to share.

Besse died Tuesday, December 4th, at the ripe age of 116. 116. Holy bejesus. That means she was born 1896. To even imagine everything she saw and experienced in her life just fascinates me!
But perhaps the most incredible part of the article was when she was asked how she lived so healthily for so long. Her response?

"I mind my own business. And I don't eat junk food."

Sounds to me like most Americans could learn a lesson from Mrs. Cooper! The "mind your own business" part is great, but in the age of endlessly streaming social media at our fingertips, it's unlikely many of us could follow her advice. {And I have no ground to stand on, considering my blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Speaking of, are you following me on all of those things? End shameless self-plug.}

But the "don't eat junk food." That's what I really wish more of us would take to heart. It truly sickens me that McDonald's is rolling in revenue while small, local, natural/organic/healthy restaurants are failing due to lack of patrons. If I could, I'd scream McDonald's' nutrition facts from the rooftops of NYC, just so everyone would know how bad it truly is. 

But enough hatin' for today.
And McD's, you still have delicious coffee. I wouldn't turn down a few vouchers. justsayin'

 Besse's article got me to thinking, I try to live a healthy life, but what's my motivation for doing so? 

* I'm a healthy eater because I feel guilty eating junk.

* I'm a healthy eater because I prefer my stomach not to move when the rest of my body isn't. Honey Boobs doesn't share this desire, obviously.

* I'm a healthy eater because I want to see what the world is like in 2050. 2060. 2070.

* I'm a healthy eater because I want to watch my grandkids and great-grandkids frolic and play. {the Eskimo way. Can you tell I'm pumped for Christmas?}

* I'm a healthy eater because I have a lot I want to accomplish in life, damnit!

And just for shits and giggles, here's a healthy {I can't emphasize that enough. I, like Besse, don't snack on Big Macs and Ho-Hos.} go-to snack that Glenn and I both love!

My picture-takin' skilzz need some work.

Seriously, this recipe is more simple than explaining to J.Simps that Chicken of the Sea is actually tuna.
Speaking of, did anyone clear this up with her once and for all? I feel it's something she ought to know, ya know, now that she's raising our nations's next generation and all. Oh Maxwell, I do love your sweet name. I hope you go far in life.

Slice avocado in half and remove pit.
Slather some hot sauce on both sides of that mofo {I even prefer using Asian chili-garlic sauce}.
Top with small amount of parmesan cheese.
Put on baking sheet, cheese side up, and put in oven turned to High Broil.
Broil 3-5 minutes, until cheese melts.

NOMNOMNOM all the way home.

Oops, pardon me, I just tripped whilst stepping off my soapbox.
I do not intend for this post to upset or offend anyone. I'm just sharing my personal opinions on health and lifestyle on my, duh, lifestyle blog :)