Happy Friday, y'all!
Hi, Piglet {and on into the pre-teen years},
Grown-up Alexa here, poppin' in to let you know not to trust Disney movies. For real, it's that simple. They'll hype up every notion you have of what romance is supposed to be like, and when you live in a ranch-style instead of a castle, you're gonna be a teense disappointed.
You expect that when your Prince delicately kisses you, little lovebirds are going to string satin banners around your heads and shower you in flower petals.
Reality is that sometimes kisses mean morning breath and teeth bumping; too much tongue or not enough tongue. Disney characters don't have saliva... humans do.
You expect that every boy you like will hold the restaurant door for you on dates, pull your chair out at the table, and open the car door so you can coyly enter without flashing the whole parking lot your hoo-ha.
Reality is you're a Southern belle, so you should expect this! Your Pa still does it for Mimi, your Dad still does it for your Mom, and damnit you better marry a man who will always do it for you!
You expect your man will have one of those plastic "credit card" things that he uses to take you on lavish vacations around the world and y'all will relax romantically on the beaches of Fiji.
Reality is lazy weekends at home, cuddling on the couch and catching up on your DVR, are often far better than sand in your ass on the beach and chasing seagulls away from your sandwich. {You're terrified of birds, remember?}
You expect that you'll never fight with your significant other, like ever.
Reality is wise up, kid! Fighting is an essential part of any serious relationship, and everyone does it. EV-ER-Y-ONE. And don't let them tell you differently, because if they say they don't fight, they're lying.
The key is to fight well ~ fight about the issue at hand, and then drop that shit like a hot potta grease. Fight about the present and then move on to the future.
Chica, you'll learn a lot in the eighteen years before you meet your husband-to-be. And then in the 2.5 years he's your boyfriend, you'll learn even more. Then the almost 2.5 years you're engaged? WHOA, those life lessons are about to knock you square in the nose like a punch.
Take them to heart and let them shape you.
Because that day you marry the love of your life ~ Everything, and I mean everything was worth waiting for that "I now pronounce you husband and wife" moment.
It may not be Disney's kind of magic, but fairy dust is totally overrated and I hear it can give you Pink Eye.
~ ~ ~
And now I've gotta do a quick link-up with The Sweet Season+Friday Letters, because I have a SUPER important letter I must write to someone besides my toddler self today...
Dear Belly Button: We need to talk. Although it's gonna be a very one-sided conversation, considering I need to apologize to you and you need to just sit back, listen, and forgive me.
No, this isn't about the piercing thing again, the one that left a permanent little hole above your existence. I still miss my dangly bling and wish I hadn't gone all "I'm grown up now" that night and taken it out. No, no, no, this apology is about yesterday...
AND HOW I GOT CRUMBS IN YOU.
Like, this shit happens in my life, y'all. I've told you before that it's a big awkward clusterfuck of ridiculousness around here, and you didn't believe me, but now you have no choice. On Thursday, January 24, 2013, at approximately 8:07 a.m., I got crumbs in my belly button. Crumbs that were subsequently stuck there for two hours and I had no flipping idea. Ya see, yesterday morning, I ate a "Jammy Sammy" for a breakfast snack, which is like a healthy, organic, kiddie version of Nutri-Grain bars. AKA - crumbly as shit. I ate it standing up, naked, in my bathroom, as I got ready for work. And as I fed myself, apparently my belly button got its own little set of noms for the day. You're welcome, weird, now-useless wannabe hole in my abdomen.
That's really all there is to the story, besides my everlasting puzzlement as to how Jammy Sammy crumbs ended up in my B-squared.
There's a picture I took, just for posterity's sake, in case one day I become a spokesperson for warning others about the crumby dangers of Jammy Sammies, but you don't get the pleasure of viewing that today.
Also, I told Erin this short n sweet story yesterday, and her response was that she about pooped her pants laughing so hard. So, there's that.
Glad my BB woes can entertain the masses :)
~ ~ ~
Today I'm co-hosting a linky-doodle-do with Lisette @ Northern Belle Diaries for Week 1 in the series "Letters to My Former Single Self"! This week's questions are
What did you think about dating and relationships when you were little?
and
What do you think about them now?
{Also see Friday Letters at bottom of post.}
Welp, it's a doozie, but there are definitely a few differences in my lovergirl thought process between the time I was Prez of The Pigtail Playhouse and my now-married, "grown-up" self.
{Numero Uno of which is: Growing up sucks, but you don't realize that 'til it's too late. Coo Hwip.}
 |
| First of all, little Lex, you were adorable. |
Grown-up Alexa here, poppin' in to let you know not to trust Disney movies. For real, it's that simple. They'll hype up every notion you have of what romance is supposed to be like, and when you live in a ranch-style instead of a castle, you're gonna be a teense disappointed.
You expect that when your Prince delicately kisses you, little lovebirds are going to string satin banners around your heads and shower you in flower petals.
Reality is that sometimes kisses mean morning breath and teeth bumping; too much tongue or not enough tongue. Disney characters don't have saliva... humans do.
You expect that every boy you like will hold the restaurant door for you on dates, pull your chair out at the table, and open the car door so you can coyly enter without flashing the whole parking lot your hoo-ha.
Reality is you're a Southern belle, so you should expect this! Your Pa still does it for Mimi, your Dad still does it for your Mom, and damnit you better marry a man who will always do it for you!
 |
| Plus, you've got your hands full with double Easter baskets. It's called "practicing for shopping." Someone's gotta help ya out! |
Reality is lazy weekends at home, cuddling on the couch and catching up on your DVR, are often far better than sand in your ass on the beach and chasing seagulls away from your sandwich. {You're terrified of birds, remember?}
You expect that you'll never fight with your significant other, like ever.
Reality is wise up, kid! Fighting is an essential part of any serious relationship, and everyone does it. EV-ER-Y-ONE. And don't let them tell you differently, because if they say they don't fight, they're lying.
The key is to fight well ~ fight about the issue at hand, and then drop that shit like a hot potta grease. Fight about the present and then move on to the future.
Chica, you'll learn a lot in the eighteen years before you meet your husband-to-be. And then in the 2.5 years he's your boyfriend, you'll learn even more. Then the almost 2.5 years you're engaged? WHOA, those life lessons are about to knock you square in the nose like a punch.
Take them to heart and let them shape you.
Because that day you marry the love of your life ~ Everything, and I mean everything was worth waiting for that "I now pronounce you husband and wife" moment.
~ ~ ~
And now I've gotta do a quick link-up with The Sweet Season+Friday Letters, because I have a SUPER important letter I must write to someone besides my toddler self today...
Dear Belly Button: We need to talk. Although it's gonna be a very one-sided conversation, considering I need to apologize to you and you need to just sit back, listen, and forgive me.
No, this isn't about the piercing thing again, the one that left a permanent little hole above your existence. I still miss my dangly bling and wish I hadn't gone all "I'm grown up now" that night and taken it out. No, no, no, this apology is about yesterday...
AND HOW I GOT CRUMBS IN YOU.
Like, this shit happens in my life, y'all. I've told you before that it's a big awkward clusterfuck of ridiculousness around here, and you didn't believe me, but now you have no choice. On Thursday, January 24, 2013, at approximately 8:07 a.m., I got crumbs in my belly button. Crumbs that were subsequently stuck there for two hours and I had no flipping idea. Ya see, yesterday morning, I ate a "Jammy Sammy" for a breakfast snack, which is like a healthy, organic, kiddie version of Nutri-Grain bars. AKA - crumbly as shit. I ate it standing up, naked, in my bathroom, as I got ready for work. And as I fed myself, apparently my belly button got its own little set of noms for the day. You're welcome, weird, now-useless wannabe hole in my abdomen.
That's really all there is to the story, besides my everlasting puzzlement as to how Jammy Sammy crumbs ended up in my B-squared.
There's a picture I took, just for posterity's sake, in case one day I become a spokesperson for warning others about the crumby dangers of Jammy Sammies, but you don't get the pleasure of viewing that today.
Also, I told Erin this short n sweet story yesterday, and her response was that she about pooped her pants laughing so hard. So, there's that.
Glad my BB woes can entertain the masses :)
~ ~ ~
Next week's Letters to My Former Single Self link-up question:
What did you think about dating and marriage the year before you met "the one?"
Rules:
Grab a button
18 comments:
Love this...don't your sometimes wish you could go back and slap some sense into your teenager self!
Omg that letter to your belly button....I am in tears laughing, Breanna can't figure it out hahahahahah
Seriously your posts can turn any bad day good with laughs
haha love little alexa pics!! and y'all were engaged for 2.5 years?! we were engaged for 2!
and the belly button thing. love it.
You are freaking hilarious! Leave it to you to spin the #Lttrs2MyFrmrSingleSelf in such a hilarious way! 2.5 years of an engagement? We were only engaged for 6 months...the minimum allowed by the Catholic church (don't worry love, I was NOT pregnant haha). Thanks for linking up. Now I will never look at a crumbly granola bar the same way!
My hubby opens doors for me too. It's a sign of a true gentleman and I agree that every guy should do this for his girl :)
Your letter made me laugh, especially the hoo-ha comment!
-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
January Group Giveaway!
Oh my gossshhhhhhhh! I got my belly button pierced and then grew up and took it out and now have a permanent little hole there too! What the?! Seriously why does this happen. Haha. Hope you have a great weekend.
Your BB was just hungry, that's all ;) hahaha.... love it. & love you, sweet friend!
Love this! So, so cute!!
Also, I am absolutely dying over your belly button situation. This is something that would totally happen to me!!
Hilarious! More often than not, my cleavage gets really hungry. It's amazing what I can find in my bra at the end of the day.
Hilarious! More often than not, my cleavage gets really hungry. It's amazing what I can find in my bra at the end of the day.
Disney movies really don't really help much in the real world. I thought boys were supposed to be princes and always treat girls like a princess, and that people for the most part were always nice, except for witches and step family of course. What they don't tell you is that rats, birds and other critters aren't really going to help a sister out, you can't really meet people if you can't talk to them (Little Mermaid style), and no fairy godmother ever came to my rescue with a dress and shoes (though she only helped til midnight, so there is that.) Also, you should be afraid and run when 7 short men try to live with you.
Ha ha!! Dang belly button... get your own Jammy Sammy!!
haha I love this! I wish we could go back and tell ourselves these things as we play with Barbies and watch Disney movies!
Hey I just found your blog from Wifessionals link up today and LOVE your blog! WOW that is a gorg dress you got there! Stunning anyways So of course I had to follow it :)
Such a cute post!
Your newest follower,
Ashlee@ABpetite
http://abpetite.blogspot.com/
I never knew a letter to a belly button could be so funny...and not at all that weird. Is that weird???
Seriously though, I loved your reality checks-especially the one on fighting. I have to remember that next time I want to hold a grudge!
In the words of one of my co-workers, you crack me slap up!
Hahaha now that is hilarious. I love that you documented it photographically haha!
I think we need to see the picture!!! And yeah that is so freakin funny!!
haha LOVE that letter to your belly button! I feel like this is something that would happen to me too.
My belly piercing is still in I hope I dont have a grown up moment and want to take it out! I always think about those girls that got their tongue pierced and how obvious that would look when you take the jewellery out of it! Not very attractive Im guessing!!
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