Positively Gene-ius

AKA ~ Thanks Mom and Dad!

AKA ~ The post in which I'm somewhat serious.

AKA ~ The post in which I reveal my weight. Gasp.

AKA ~ The post in which I'm bound to piss someone off. 

Here goes nothing and everything.

I've been wanting to write this post for a while, but I was finally prompted to put fingers to keyboard last night after getting the results back from my annual physical appointment Tuesday. {My first in five years ~ that's annual, right...?}

I've gotta preface by saying, leading up to my physical, I was excited. Which means Glenn was weirded out. Who the eff gets excited for getting blood drawn and poked and prodded and asked a million questions?

ME ME ME ME ME, apparently. 

I was excited to get my blood work results back with all of my levels; results that would tell me I was healthy as a Clydesdale and an example for the American people.

At least that's what I had my fingers crossed for. 

And thank heavens for freaky-long, flexible fingers, because that shit worked!

My doctor left me a voicemail with all of my numbers and results. Each number was low when it needed to be, high when it needed to be, and juuuuuust right when it needed to be. And besides saying "fantastic" a lot, these were my doctor's exact words:

"Whatever you're doing, keep doing it, because it's working!"

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So, being horribly presumptuous and assuming that y'all care, I thought I'd share exactly what it is "I'm doing." It's not much, but it's my bloggy I can talk nutrition if I want.  :)

This pretty much sums it up.

Y'all, I'm a peanut.

Skinny-minnie.

Teeny tiny.

Quarter pounder on a good day.

If the wind blows, I might hold on to something, just in case I blow away.

I don't say that I'm "skinny." I am thin. Skinny implies I strived for such a weight. Thin is a natural body type I'm blessed to have.

I'm 5'7"-ish and my normal weight is 100 pounds on the dot.

At the doctor Tuesday, I weighed 98 pounds. And yesterday morning, the scale talked teeny to me.

And the most that scale has ever read was 107, when I was in high school, doing sports and had a little muscle on me.

Unlike most, I lost weight when I went to college.

Growing up, I was so thin that a lot of people assumed I must have an eating disorder. Some even said such things about me to my little brother, which is just plain mean.

Sticks and stones can break your bones... blah blah blah. Yeah, unless you're an actual twig, I guess. Those words hurt worse than being sat on by Mama June.

Most of my family has an identical body type:

Tall, lean, road-runner-fast/high metabolism.

To some, this means that I should eat Doritos, hamburgers, and as much as ice cream as I want, in an effort to "put a little meat on my bones."

Gaaaah, how I hate that phrase now!

The size of my waist or thickness of my thighs has never been something I had to "worry" about. 

I don't think of January as a time to start preparing for bikini season.

I don't know how Weight Watchers points work, because I've never dieted in my life.

My "goal," if you will, is actually to gain weight, in the form of healthy muscle and adding pounds from eating protein.

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I'm not skinny because I care about a number.

I'm thin because I have great genes.

I don't eat healthily because it's a fad to be dieting.

I eat healthily because I truly do crave good foods to fuel my body.

Just like that picture says ~ being fat or skinny doesn't mean a can of Pringles and a double bacon cheeseburger affects me any differently. Bet your bottom dollar, your heart won't appreciate such crap, regardless of weight.

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My sweet tooth? 

I can satisfy it with an apple and a single square of dark chocolate, and would rather have that than ice cream any day.

I don't eat added sugars because honestly, the words high fructose corn syrup scare the poop outta me. 

When I stopped eating shit, I stopped craving shit. It was that freaking simple.

Salty snacks?

wham-bam-yummy-ma'am. Two ingredients and I can pronounce both of them!

Craving crunch?

We've discussed my love of chips and fresh salsa before.

Organic chips with only a few pronounceable ingredients, and fresh salsa {L} ~ just veggies!

I gave up red meat in June and haven't missed it one bit! I never loved it to begin with, but I did love cows, pigs, and my heart pumping blood like it's supposed to. I don't like chicken or turkey that much, so I guess I'm a "pescetarian." 

Or as my grandma called me, basically "one of those veggies." 

Every morning, I drink at least one cup of hot green tea, which is full of antioxidants and provides just enough caffeine to get my "ughhhhhhh, do I have to go to work?" butt up and runnin'.

Besides green tea and some coffee, the only thing I drink is water. {I drink alcohol, let's not lie. Just none of that sugary stuff! Vino? Yes, please.} I carry a Tervis tumbler around with me everywhere and fill it up enough to equal consuming a gallon+ of water per day.
I can't even recall when I last bought a Coke.

The last time I counted a carb was when I tried to remember how many apples I'd eaten that day. So badass, I know.

I crave healthy foods all day every day and for that I'm grateful. It's not hard for me to say no to shitty foods, because it's worth the tradeoff for me and those things no longer taste good. {Except for the occasional Chick-Fil-A, lezbihonest.}

One night, I counted the total servings of fruits and veggies I'd eaten that day ~ 12. Without even trying.

I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full.

I'm not providing a diet plan. And I'm certainly not a dietician or nutritionist {though it's on my bucket list!}.

I'm quite thin, but I'm very healthy.

And I'll tell ya, I'm finally pretty damn proud!

I was inspired by this post on Julie's blog, PBFingers, long ago.