Leprechauns made me do it.

Yep, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. The story about how I survived a pub crawl from noon until almost 1:00 a.m. {Mom, I know I did ya proud.}

Here are the details you need to know before a plethora of epically green pictures hit you like a ton of bricks Fireball shots...

1. Charlotte, NC hosts what's become the world's largest St. Patrick's Day pub crawl. 

2. Samantha from It's All In The Details is the most wonderfulest, coolest, bestest and we basically had a weekend-long blate. Jealousy is perfectly acceptable.

3. "Staycations," while perhaps described by the dumbest made-up word ever, are way underrated. Hotel in your hometown? Why not! Just figure out a way not to snicker when the concierge says, "Welcome to Charlotte!" and acts like you've never set foot there before.

{Plus, driving drunk is stupid shit, ya hear? Just book the hotel room; it's worth it.}

4. Bud Light out of festive aluminum bottles just tastes better. And perhaps gets your drunker faster. Perhaps? Yes, let's go with that.

5. My liver transplant is scheduled for next Tuesday. 

Oy vey, alcohol-centric holiday. You win again.

Party before the party. It's really the only way to do it.

K but seriously, how adorable is she?

Top left: Pretzel necklace. Someone get this guy a MENSA hat, because he's bubbling over with brilliance.

'Ello, recovery day. My version of green drank on the actual holiday.

Here's a fun game: Count the number of pictures in this post in which my mouth is drunkely open and/or I unashamedly took a selfie. Again, I blame the leprechauns. Causing so many shenanigans, those jolly nuggets.